So you get it
by StkAmbln
Summary: There are many ways "No Laughing Matter" could have gone, and this is one of them. A sad one. (If you know the Loud kids well, you'll know who is speaking each line. If no, sorry guys)


-…Because they were too Loud! Ha ha ha ha ha! Get it?!

(everybody groans, except for Lori)

-Wow, you really didn't get it? You see, it's, why did the comedian fe-

-Yes. Luan. I get it… Just like… the last six times this morning. Just like yesterday. And the day before it. And every single day before that one! Yes! For Pete's sake, Luan! I get it!

-…uh…well…

-Hey Lori, take it eas-

-What I don't get is why you keep doing this! Because, I'm sorry but, FYI Luan! It's not funny anymore! It is literally f***ing annoying!

-... ...

-Dude!

-And you know what? I don't know if it was ever funny at all! If I ever laughed with your puns in the past, now I can't understand why I did it. Because really, since you started with this little act of yours, what, seven or eight friggin years ago? It has been irritating as hell!

(somebody just remembered to cover Lola's and Lana's ears)

-Irritating as… a h-high heel?

-Lori, I can detect very high levels of accumulated stress in your voice and body languge. Based on your behavior, I recommend you cease your complaints befo-

-Lisa, really… your scientific junk… I don't need it right now!

(the girl with the glasses comes to the conclusion that she prefers not to start a discussion with her sister – Lori turns back to the girl with the braces)

-Look, Luan... ... it's not just me, ok?! We ALL have put up with your jokes and your laughing at yourself… and this April Fools nonsense! Only because you were… going through some phase or whatever! But this has lasted way too much! And maybe you can get those little kids to laugh at you for an hour, but we are sick of dealing with this crap the whole day! I mean…

-Lori! Stop!

(she can finally groan)

\- UGHHHHHHHH! I mean, you really don't realize it?! Can't you see it?! Can't you literally HEAR us when you just let those stupid words leave your mouth?! Damn it, Luan! IT'S. NOT. FUNNY!

-Lori, please calm down! You're taking this too far!

-NO!

(she turns her attention now to the white-haired boy)

-I'm sorry, bro! I know we said we would bear with it and talk this with her with love and patience, but I just can't take it anymore! And she just can't keep this up either! And I know I should be the more mature and more tolerant here, but maybe it's just because I am the oldest that I have to be the one who breaks it to her! Like it really is! She's not a kid anymore! She needs to stop now or she's gonna become just a big joke to everybody!

-Lori!

-You know it! We all know it! We have discussed this long enough. She's already in high school! They have no mercy, and they are gonna eat her alive with her dumb flowers and all!

-LORI!

-You guys think the same way! You know I'm right! Enough is enough! We have to stop pretending just because of her feelings! Right now! She's lucky to have us here to tell her the truth! Because out there, they're not gonna give a damn about it, and they're just gonna target her and use her as their own personal stupid clown! So we better burst her little ignorance bubble now, before she hits the damn wall!

-BLOODY HELL! LORI!

-What?! WHAAT?!

(she just keeps staring angrily at Luna until she hears sniffling behind her, and then there's sobbing, from somebody she knows very well - Lori instinctively turns around and is paralyzed by what she sees - her heart breaks with the sight of Luan's huge glassy eyes, streams of tears running down her face, falling right on Mr. Coconuts, who has landed on the floor, after Luan's arms let him go, and now they just hang loosely at the sides of her trembling body)

-... ... ... ...

(Lori remains petrified - what she sees is a seven or six year old little girl in front of her, who looks like she has just been painfully hurt somehow - then, she suddenly sees her fourteen year old little sister looking at her own eyes, in pain, and every single word she just spit out comes back to her mind - her eyes become wide, her throat becomes stone, and the wetness starts to affect her vision)

-... ... ... ...

(no words at all for who knows how much time, nobody seems to be capable of closing their mouths or any other movement, except for Leni's eyelids which can't stop blinking - only the gasps and sniffles that escape from Luan's body)

-…ghh... ... ghh…

(and then, she can speak again)

-h…hhh... ... L... ... L-Lu… Luan… I… hhh... ... Th-that was… t-that w-was not…

-I s... t h a t... s o?

(it's not even a voice, it's like the very slow whisper… of a cry of pain - the sound of Luan's words smashes the pieces of Lori's broken heart - killing her voice)

-…I s… w h a t... ... i s… t h a t… w h a t… what you… a-all... ... think?

-No, love! Lori was just-

-Is… is it true? That's why you… are always… groaning… when I… … do I really annoy you… that… much?

(Luna opens her mouth again, but she can't answer that question with the confidence she had until now - she can't say what she was completely sure of one second ago - she painfully escapes from Luan's red eyes - her voice dies, and with it, so does everybody else's)

-So… you all… think the same…

-... ... ... ...

-Well then... ... I... ... I won't bother you anymore…

-... ... ...

-…I will just... ...

(she quickly turns around to the stairs behind her, and before anyone knows, she runs up them - Lincoln manages to beat his own tears for an instant)

-L-LUAN!

(she stops at the end of the steps - from up there, she slowly turns around, her eyes to the ground)

-…It… it's... ... it's okay... ... I... I get it..

(Lily lets out a single cry that freaks out Lucy, who almost drops her - the baby raises her arms and babbles something unintelligible to the girl on top of the stairs - Luan's sight rises, and her eyes start to sparkle again)

She smiles with only half the mouth at her baby sis, and before she can no longer speak, she says:

\- …Thank you… for your honesty... ... you have been sincere enough… now I'm going to my room… I'll be there all week.

She closes her eyes, and walks straight and slowly to her bedroom. She can't believe her brain just made one final attempt at funny wordplay. Her mind asks her two little words.

She doesn't find it funny.

Again, a long time passes since a door closes upstairs until one of them decides to execute any action. When somebody moves, it is Lori, heading to the stairs. She takes two steps before Luna's arm is in front of her, preventing her from advancing more. They exchange looks. Luna's eyes are filled with as much sorrow as her older sister's.

-No… no... ... you've done enough already.

Lori doesn't protest in any way.

-What... ... then what are you… what do we… do now, Luna?

The younger one lowers her arm,and keeps looking at her for a moment, until her eyes turn from sad ones, to severe and even angry ones… and then they fill again with pain and tears.

A sudden smacking sound makes the rest of the siblings gasp, as Luna's hand hits Lori's rosy face incredibly fast. One of her cheeks becomes red quickly. Lori's head is turned to one side, and there it stays.

-You go with Leni… put something cold on that... ... then come to the living room… we'll... see what we can do... ... You too, Lynn… bro, you're coming too.

She turns out to the rest.

-Guys, let's all calm down a bit, okay? I want you all to go to Lisa's and Lily's room and stay there until mom and dad come back… we are gonna… let Luan be alone for a while. Don't bother her, okay?

Lori listens to all, with her head still in the same position Luna's slap left it in.

Luna lowers her eyes and sees Mr. Coconuts on the ground.

-…Then… later… one of us will go to check on her.

She bends down and picks up the dummy. She keeps her eyes fixed on it.

-Go now, please

All the younger sisters start to walk up the stairs, really not wanting to do it. The last one to abandon the room is Lisa.

-I tried to warn you. All this couldn't end in nothing less than an unpleasant display of emotions.

She climbs up the stairs.

-Having my room filled with sisters was unexpected, however.

When they all disappear from the first floor, Lynn and Lincoln look at each other in the eye. Then the boy speaks.

-We… we'll just wait on the couch for you, guys.

As they leave them, the remaining three older sisters don't know exactly how to do what they are supposed to do.

Leni finally breaks the silence.

-I'll go get… some ice… to the kitchen… from the kitchen… I mean… … Lori?

She doesn't respond, or move.

-Yeah… go Leni. A cloth in cool water should be enough. Lori's going in a minute.

She walks by Lori, stops behind her for a second and watches her sister's figure, but she decides not to say anything else for now, and she goes on.

After a minute of them being alone, Luna lets out a deep sigh. Then, her hand looks for Lori's. She presses her sister's hand… until both girls intertwine their fingers.

-Sorry… I didn't want to… hit you so hard.

Lori finally turns her head a little. She turns a little more, just to let their eyes meet.

Luna immediately knows she also wants to say she's sorry, but she doesn't seem to have the strength to do it. She wants to smile at her big sister, but she doubts it would be of any help.

-Come on… go with Leni.

Luna turns to the living room, preparing for the challenge she has to face. She walks, but before leaving Lori on her own, she stops for a second.

-You know… the worst thing is... ... is that you are probably right.

* * *

.

.

.

 _Now, show her she is funny._


End file.
